Top Five Biggest Maternity Fashion Mistakes

15 Feb

1. Wearing your pre-pregnancy clothing a little too long.

Listen- we all want to get as much mileage out of our non-maternity wardrobes as possible. At some point you have to stop fighting the inevitable. If the seams on your shirts are working overtime and  your pant legs are beginning to resemble sausage casings, then it’s time to retire those bad boys. Don’t even think for one second that no one will notice if your fly is unzipped and you have three rubber bands keeping the button closed. Bite the bullet and invest in some maternity clothes already.

2. Falling for the illusion (or delusion) that you are “all belly”.

The thing about having a watermelon stuffed inside your abdomen is that your belly starts to dwarf the rest of your body. When I was about six months pregnant with my first baby, I remember actually thinking that my legs and arms were skinny. Of course, that dream came to an abrupt end the second I tried to squeeze my rear into an old pair of jeans. They didn’t even make it past my knees. Unless you are giving birth to a 35 pound baby, there is a good chance that some of that baby weight is going somewhere besides your belly. Leave the booty shorts and strappy tanks at home, and don’t forget to check your backside in the mirror before you leave the house. This is also the perfect time to remind you that non-maternity dresses will ride up so high on your belly that you run the risk of pulling a Britney Spears. Don’t let this happen to you.

3. Showing too much cleavage (or too much of anything).

You are going to notice all kinds of changes happening to your body as soon as you see those little pink lines pop up on that pregnancy test. The first thing that happens is your bosom starts to expand faster than Becky Anderson’s did over the summer between sixth and seventh grade. Whether you have ittie bitties, or your cup runneth over, eventually your lovely lady lumps will become so plentiful that you will have cleavage in a turtleneck. Less is more in the world of maternity fashion and you already have the best accessory in town- a beautiful baby bump. There is no need to distract from your natural glow.

4. Wearing maternity clothing too early into your pregnancy.

This is the inverse of maternity fashion mistake #1. I’ll be the first to admit that my heart skipped a beat the first time I slipped into a pair of elastic waist maternity pants. Two thoughts ran through my head: 1. Wow- this is really happening! and 2. Finally- an excuse to let it all hang out! The thing is, maternity clothing is made for women with large, round, bellies full of babies- not bellies with embryos the size of pinto beans in them. The clothing is cut larger, longer, and wider than regularly sized items. I know you feel fat and awkward with that in-between belly, but trust me- you will look a lot better in your regular clothing than you will pulling your pants up every five seconds or wearing a shirt that rivals a circus tent. Just wait it out.

5. Getting a drastic haircut.

I think pregnant women feel compelled to cut their hair for a variety of reasons. It might be because for the first time in their lives their hair is shiny and luscious, or maybe they are tempted to tame their mane by chopping it off. Pregnancy also does strange things to one’s self esteem and perhaps they are trying to regain some sense of their non-pregnant self. You also cannot underestimate how hormones, pregnancy brain shrinkage, and insomnia affect judgement. This might seem like the perfect time to channel your inner Michelle Williams and get that pixie cut you’ve always wanted. DON’T DO IT. Not only have you not factored in the shape of your new pregnant face, but you might end up with a high-maintenance haircut. The last thing you will want to do as a new mom who is running on three hours sleep is spend more than five minutes styling your hair. Have you ever tried to flat iron your hair while breastfeeding? I don’t recommend it.

What are some of your maternity fashion mistakes?

This post can also be seen here at Rated by Mom.


34 Responses to “Top Five Biggest Maternity Fashion Mistakes”

  1. Lori Dyan February 15, 2011 at 7:00 am #

    I did the short hair thing whilst HUGE with child. I looked like a cross between Michelle Williams and Shrek. Hair stylists shouldn’t let preggos cut their hair. Period.

    • The Little Hen House February 15, 2011 at 9:55 am #

      Hahaha- Shrek! I was so afraid of doing something disastrous to my hair that I just let it grow and grow.

  2. Mai Weston February 15, 2011 at 7:06 am #

    My favorite is that third trimester little gap between your shirt and your pants. I don’t know how many times I looked down and realized I had a “skin belt”. You know you’ve packed on the weight when not even maternity shirts are long enough.

    • The Little Hen House February 15, 2011 at 9:56 am #

      Trying to look cute those last six weeks is pointless. My belly was hanging out all over the place and I lived in yoga pants. What can you do?

  3. Everyday Mama February 15, 2011 at 7:57 am #

    I couldn’t have said it better myself! Plus with all the great maternity fashions available now, you can’t help but go shopping…even if it is for elastic pants!

    • The Little Hen House February 15, 2011 at 9:57 am #

      How cute is the stuff at Target and Old Navy? I miss my elastic pants. Sigh…

  4. Tonya February 15, 2011 at 8:17 am #

    These are spot on. And hilarious. I would also add wearing things that are way too big before you need them to be.

    • The Little Hen House February 15, 2011 at 9:58 am #

      That is so true. My first pregnancy I bought maternity clothes that were way too big for me, expecting to blow up like a balloon any second. I would have looked much better wearing clothing that fit me just right.

  5. Mad Woman behind the Blog February 15, 2011 at 8:26 am #

    Girlfriend, have you been hanging out in my closet again? You wrote this for me, didn’t you?
    I am completely guilty of #1. And I REFUSE to buy maternity tops. I’ve never been this curvy and will never be again, I’m flaunting it.
    I have however succumbed (FINALLY in MONTH 6!)to maternity pants. You can only wear so many pairs of yoga pants.
    But one recent fashion item that I’ve adopted with the sole intent to wear during pregnancy is the maxi dress. I’m showing off my curves and feeling feminine without wearing a tent.

    But I LOVED this Morgan and loved hearing your voice in your writing.

    • The Little Hen House February 15, 2011 at 9:59 am #

      I loved wearing maxi dresses too! I know it’s evil and all, but there’s a little part of me that is thrilled that you are finally wearing maternity pants. You look too good! 😉 xo

      • Yuliya February 15, 2011 at 11:06 am #

        word! it’s time to put the pants, at least for our sakes!

    • Lori Dyan February 15, 2011 at 11:30 am #

      I have a pal currently pregnant with TWINS and in her 7th month she finally gave in and bought a preggo top. #skinnybitch

  6. gigi February 15, 2011 at 8:38 am #

    I colored my hair red in my second pregnancy (it was safe color, no judgments!). I looked like Lucy Ricardo.


    • Lucky Dame February 15, 2011 at 9:27 am #

      Haha! Both my kids, I dyed my hair every 3-4 weeks.

      Plus, I’m jealous that you got a Lucy red…always a goal of mine!

    • The Little Hen House February 15, 2011 at 10:01 am #

      Please- I didn’t go more than six weeks without touching up my highlights while pregnant, and my baby is a genius. That’s right. I said it. 😉

  7. Lucky Dame February 15, 2011 at 9:29 am #

    Horizontal stripes….what was I thinking? I guess I figured that I might as well showcase my very proud belly.

    Other maternity mistake for me was wearing ill-fitted jeans. They fit my belly but were huge in my legs/thighs…looked like MC Hammer.

    • The Little Hen House February 15, 2011 at 10:02 am #

      Lol! I always splurged on one pair of expensive maternity jeans that looked really great. I just couldn’t do the bad jean thing. I needed one thing that I felt good in.

  8. erin margolin February 15, 2011 at 9:46 am #

    Towards the end of my pregnancy with the twins, there was NO shirt that would totally cover my belly. I was even buying the Liz Lange XXL tops at Target. Still not long enough. I also should’ve invested in a winter maternity coat, but was too cheap, so I waddled around in my hubs’ coats.

    Fun/funny post, Morgan!

    • The Little Hen House February 15, 2011 at 10:04 am #

      You totally get a free pass. I’m proud of you for even trying! You are such a tiny little thing too. Your belly must have been huge!

  9. julie gardner February 15, 2011 at 10:08 am #

    I am a decade past maternity-wear, but that photo of Michelle Williams made me laugh even BEFORE I read your caption.

    You are one funny chica!

    • The Little Hen House February 15, 2011 at 11:29 am #

      I came *thisclose* to cutting my hair like that when I was pregnant with Annie. I’m so glad I didn’t! I can’t imagine going in for a trim every six weeks.

  10. Alexandria February 15, 2011 at 10:47 am #

    That was a super funny post. For some reason all of my “friends” who are first time pregos are the ones that break the maternity clothes early rule.

    • The Little Hen House February 15, 2011 at 11:30 am #

      I totally did. I was so excited to finally wear them. Too bad I didn’t factor in the time I would spend wearing maternity clothing AFTER that baby came. Whoops!

  11. Yuliya February 15, 2011 at 11:08 am #

    The in between time when your clothes don’t fit and neither do maternity clothes is a difficult time indeed. I take solace in the fact since I can still fit my maternity clothes a year later, for my next pregnancy I will be all set.

    • The Little Hen House February 15, 2011 at 11:31 am #

      Well, you have totally done yourself a huge favor! Way to be an over achiever by preparing for fitting into your maternity clothing in advance.

  12. Mandyland February 15, 2011 at 11:19 am #

    I am DYING over here. Seriously laughing my butt off and trying to pretend that I’m working.

    So, so, SO true.

    • The Little Hen House February 15, 2011 at 11:32 am #

      Work?!?! Wait- you don’t read blogs and tweet all day? I’m so confused.

  13. liz February 15, 2011 at 2:02 pm #

    That Katie Price picture is awful.

    I giggle at women who wear mat clothes too soon. I can see how you start to need mat pants because you can’t zip/button, but mat shirts?? Many women start wearing those months sooner than they really need to.

    • The Little Hen House February 16, 2011 at 2:36 pm #

      Kudos to you for knowing who Katie Price is! I had never heard of her until I started googling “bad maternity fashion”.

  14. Carri February 15, 2011 at 8:52 pm #

    I was really lucky. I really WAS all belly, literally. I was wearing my regular jeans up until the last three weeks. But when I was first pregnant and still had that “Is she pregnant or did she have pasta for dinner?” look going on, I thought I would be just fine wearing my husband’s t-shirts.
    So not cute.

    • The Little Hen House February 16, 2011 at 2:37 pm #

      I so remember that feeling. I even resorted to sticking my stomach out farther than normal just so I could look pregnant and not fat. Also not cute.

  15. Mom Went Crazy February 16, 2011 at 7:39 pm #

    oooh this made me CRINGE!!!!

  16. Molly On Money February 21, 2011 at 6:58 pm #

    My Mom had her first kid in 1966, was in her early twenties and very mode. She had this lime green polyester mini maternity dress with white sequence around the neck. It ended up in our dress up box years later. Even as young kids we were shocked that our mother would were something that short!

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