¿Cómo Se Dice “Rooster Sperm” en Español?

4 Mar

I had a- I don’t know- um…. interesting conversation with my neighbor Maria yesterday. She’s a lovely woman who is very vibrant and I always enjoy speaking with her. I use the term “speaking” loosely, as she speaks only Spanish and I probably have the vocabulary of a two year old Hispanic toddler. This is how the conversation went:

Maria: Oh, I see you have some chickens.

Me: Yes.

Maria: How many?

Me: Four.

Maria: Any roosters?

Me: No.

Maria: You don’t need a rooster anyway. Let the hens sit on the eggs so you can have babies. Don’t take the eggs out of the coop and eat them. The hens need to sit on them.

Me: No, no babies. Need rooster daddy for to make the babies.

Maria: No you don’t. You just have to let the hens sit on the eggs for a long time. The warmth from their bodies will make the babies come.

Me: No. The Rooster is the “papa”. You need the “papa” for to make the babies. “Mama” is of the lady chicken and “Papa” is of the rooster chicken.

Maria: I think you are wrong. My mother has chickens, tons of them actually, and they have babies.

Me: Is her chicken house one of the rooster?

Maria: Yes, but only because he is beautiful. He doesn’t make the babies.

Me: Oh, ok. It’s possible.

It’s times like these I wish my tenth grade Spanish teacher Mr. Merril had covered terms such as, “immaculate conception”, “fertilization”, and “chicken sex.” I so would have aced that class.

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34 Responses to “¿Cómo Se Dice “Rooster Sperm” en Español?”

  1. julie gardner March 4, 2011 at 7:27 am #

    Oh my! You had me at the title of this post.

    My dad was born and raised in Mexico and was my Spanish teacher in high school.

    Somehow, we never covered “chicken sex” (peeing my pants as I type that. too too funny.)

    I think I really need to call my parents today…..

    • The Little Hen House March 4, 2011 at 8:51 pm #

      They really should start teaching sex ed in spanish. If not for the informational aspect, then for the hilarity.

  2. Heidi March 4, 2011 at 7:33 am #

    Too funny. I would never in a million think about this conversation. Halarious! Have great weekend. Heidi

    • The Little Hen House March 4, 2011 at 8:52 pm #

      I’ve been quite amazed at the lack of knowledge people have about where baby chicks come from. It’s fascinating actually. lol.

  3. Kimberly March 4, 2011 at 7:36 am #

    Talk about an awkward conversation!

    • The Little Hen House March 4, 2011 at 8:52 pm #

      It was so frustrating. I can talk about the birds and the bees like it’s no one’s business, but only in english. Arggg!

  4. Mad Woman behind the Blog March 4, 2011 at 7:44 am #

    OMG! I so don’t know how you can keep a straight face around that woman again or look at your chickens the same way.
    HI.LAR.I.OUS!

    • The Little Hen House March 4, 2011 at 8:53 pm #

      She walked away with kind of a puzzled look on her face. I’m wondering if she doesn’t even know how human children are conceived.

  5. Mai Weston March 4, 2011 at 8:56 am #

    Classic!

  6. Tim@sogeshirts March 4, 2011 at 9:42 am #

    I know a little spanish too and I think this calls for a Que? and an Ay Caramba? I guess this is why there was no rooster in the whole what came first chicken or the egg scenario. He wasn’t necessary.

  7. anjobanjo22 March 4, 2011 at 9:45 am #

    All I can say is…Wow…lol

  8. Tonya March 4, 2011 at 10:12 am #

    It’s all pleasantries and politeness until sperm comes up in the convo!

    Funny encounter.

    Love the title.

    • The Little Hen House March 4, 2011 at 8:59 pm #

      If only I had known that “sperm” translates to “esperma”. I’ve got that one locked away in the noggin for later use.

  9. gigi March 4, 2011 at 11:34 am #

    Wowza. This is a story one could not dream up on one’s own. hilarious!

  10. GRANNY March 4, 2011 at 12:05 pm #

    Who is going to skin the chickens?

  11. Ashley March 4, 2011 at 12:13 pm #

    No me digas!!!

  12. MutantSupermodel March 4, 2011 at 12:25 pm #

    I know Spanish perfectly fine coming from Cubans and all that BUT I went totally blank when I read your post so I turned to Google and Language Tools says Rooster Sperm = Esperma del gallo. El gallo y la gallina necesitan hacer el mambo sexy para tener pollitos! Now that I think about it, you should’ve totally pantomined this one. Pantomining always works. Especially when it’s el mambo sexy.

    • Ana March 4, 2011 at 1:09 pm #

      Can anyone say “viral youtube video”? 😀

    • The Little Hen House March 4, 2011 at 9:01 pm #

      Mambo sexy?! That is all kinds of awesome!

  13. Ana March 4, 2011 at 1:10 pm #

    For a brief moment, I actually thought about a chicken coop in our future…but not any more. I just can’t do it. Even thinking about it now has me laughing!

    • The Little Hen House March 4, 2011 at 9:02 pm #

      Do it! Think of all the fun chicken sex conversations you are missing out on!

  14. Bobbi March 4, 2011 at 1:54 pm #

    Oh Morgan! I laughed til I cried. Augustine, my neighbor in Crest, thought that you have to have a rooster to get eggs, and Maria, your neighbor, thinks you don’t need one to have peep peeps.
    Hummm. Doesn’t anyone know about animal husbandry anymore? God forbid they try to raise rabbits!

    • The Little Hen House March 4, 2011 at 9:03 pm #

      I’m surprised my neighbor has three children! It’s very possible that this is the first time she has ever contemplated the concept of the sperm meeting an egg. Haha!

  15. Everyday Mama March 4, 2011 at 4:32 pm #

    I wish I was a fly on the wall for that conversation 🙂 HA!

  16. Tracie March 4, 2011 at 9:27 pm #

    This right here…the best thing I’ve read all day!

    The warmth, it just makes the babies come!! Clearly, her mom never had “the talk” with her.

  17. Julia Braga March 4, 2011 at 9:27 pm #

    So amazing…I love that she thinks that sitting on them long enough will make them fertilized…I am actually glad you were not able to say esperma because I think she would have fainted. This reminds me of the many times people have asked if Alejandro and Alexis are identical…in fact, I stopped explaining and just started saying, “no, they are not.” 🙂

  18. Molly On Money March 5, 2011 at 8:45 am #

    My daughter is 1/2 Mexican (her Dad is a Mexican National). My Spanish has all but disappeared! Just this week my daughters cousins FB both of us. Many are pre-teens and teenagers (there is over 40 of them!). I’m trying to communicate with my broken Spanish but it’s obvious my humor does not translate to these kids. I’m cutting myself off before I embarrass myself anymore!
    Good luck, and BTW I’m with you, you need a rooster!

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